Reimagining Masculinity by Teaching Emotional Intelligence

For decades, if not centuries, boys and men have been instructed to "man-up" and adhere to rules that desensitize feelings, such as "don't cry" or "don't be a baby."  In today's more female empowered and gender fluid society this inexpressive behavior no longer serves men or society well.  Over the years "emotional intelligence has been a strength for women and now stands," according to Myers, as "the most important and powerful quality for men to successfully navigate business, life and the world around them."

What is emotional intelligence?  Myers defines it as the intersection of self-management, self-awareness, social awareness and relationship management.  It requires that you embrace your authentic self.  It starts with greater honesty, better listening, more respect and being a more effective communicator.  These skills, coupled with empathy, collaboration and inclusionary actions open a pathway to respond to challenges in life and at work in a healthy manner.

Myers observed that "emotional intelligence is a new narrative for men and a simple catalyst to reimagine masculinity in today's world -- even the entertainment media has caught on."  He points out that "media images and portrayals of men are slowly shifting from Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin of Family Guy and Gordon Gecko to more emotionally connected and responsive men who are willing to change."  There is a saying in the women's space: "If She Can See It, She Can Be It."  The same is true for all underrepresented groups and behaviors, including men aspiring to a healthy masculinity.  Think of Tim Daly on Madame Secretaryandthe men on Modern Family and This is Us.  There is indisputable proof that positive onscreen portrayals can open opportunities for all people to break through stereotypes.

With that said, change from the entrenched male culture is slow.  The news media still tends to focus on the man that is trapped in The Man Box and/or unwilling to change.  This man values self-sufficiency, toughness, physical attractiveness, rigid gender roles, hypersexuality, aggression/control over women and heterosexuality versus homophobia.  A recentstudy of The Man Box, for men ages 18-30, found that "those who conform to traditional definitions of manhood -- dubbed 'the man box' -- are twice as likely to consider suicide and seven times more likely to be violent towards others."

Change is never easy; however, it has never been more critical than it is today.  A healthier masculinity exists and there are new rules for men to play by built on the wisdom of emotional intelligence.  The time is now for men who are trying to live by and evangelize new strategies.  This is the new framework for future generations of men who will impact the lives of our sons and daughters.

To help audience members jumpstart their personal journey toward emotional intelligence, Myers provided strategies for self-management, self-awareness, social awareness and relationship management.  For example, he illustrated the importance of being aware of unhealthy patterns that you continue to repeat.  Whether it is seeking approval from an emotionally distant parent or listening to alcohol instead of your head and heart, he acknowledged that we all have blueprints deep inside of us and can all contribute to building a healthier society if we are aware and break free of the negative.

While these strategies were designed for men, they also apply to women.  "There is no men's only or women's only team," Myers declared.  "It's all co-ed, which becomes the starting point for emotional intelligence."  He ended his keynote with a personal mantra he recited with the audience, starting with a message of empowerment: "I own my future."

The remainder of the conference was full of strategies for and examples of healthy masculinity.  What struck me at the end was that raw emotions were on display throughout the day as several male speakers and audience members did, in fact, cry as they shared their challenges and personal journeys.

Photo and video by Christian Taylor

Click the social buttons above or below to share this story with your friends and colleagues.

The opinions and points of view expressed in this content are exclusively the views of the author and/or subject(s) and do not necessarily represent the views of MediaVillage.com/MyersBizNet, Inc. management or associated writers.