Post-Pandemic Life? It's Not About Gettin' Some -- It's About Finding Someone

MediaVillage talked with Cosmopolitan EditorinChief Jessica Pels Esquire EditorinChief Michael Sebastian and The Kinsey Institute39s Associate Director for Research Amanda Gesselman PhD about what the future has in store and how this will change the face of mediaThe study came together organically when Sebastian pictured right discovered during his chats with his male friends that everything was up for discussion except their own relationships That puzzling omission sparked a question about how the pandemic has affected our love lives or lack thereof His friendship with his peer Pels led to a larger conversation about the topic and Cosmo39s relationship with The Kinsey Institute allowed them to really go deepquotI really wanted to find out what39s happening in America39s bedrooms right now and how that39s going to affect us going forwardquot explains Sebastian quotCosmo was also planning a sex survey and they were the ones who had the connection to the Kinsey Institute so that felt like a nobrainer for us It felt like fatequotThough coming together may have been kismet neither Sebastian nor Pels foresaw the study39s resultsquotI made two predictionsquot shares Pels quotI expected a bloodbath of breakups and divorces due to the stress of the pandemic and I expected that after COVID single people would go absolutely hamquotNeither turned out to be true which to Pels pictured below was the best kind of surprisequotThe results were actually so encouragingquot she saysDating Apps and HookupsPrePandemic It was all about the pursuit of the pursuit about the desire to be desired More meant more and more was always betterPostPandemic After a year of lockdown and no contact many singles plan to prioritize the quality of their experiences with fewer people and more meaningful connections whether it39s a longterm relationship or a fling Esquire and Cosmo both highlighted this major finding quotMore than half of our survey respondents say they39re just not as into onenight stands anymore and 64 percent say they39re less interested in having more than one sexual partner at a time amp8230 Thirtythree percent of our respondents want to wait longer to meet someone in person and 37 percent also want to wait longer to have sexquot A massive 70 percent also plan to keep video dating before meeting someone in person showing that the conversation will matter just as much as the physical chemistryRelationships and CommitmentPrePandemic Many prioritized dating and hooking up until they felt ready for marriage and children There was nothing but time so why notPostPandemic The harsh realities of mortality and the desire to have enjoyable longlasting companionship will continue As Esquire notes quot44 percent of survey respondents overall feel that commitment itself is more important than beforequot Cosmo highlights that quot13 percent say their biggest concern about dating after the pandemic is finding someone who wants to commitquot They also noted that quot52 percent of singles say a committed relationship is what they want nextquotHealth and SafetyPrePandemic Many felt strange or uncomfortable asking about a new partner39s sexual health fearing awkward interactions Cheating occurred frequently and as a result many were putting their bodies at riskPostPandemic Cosmo reports that quot42 percent of survey respondents say they are more likely to ask a potential partner about their physical health before consenting to sexquot Esquire reports that 68 percent of respondents feel less likely to cheat than before the pandemic Plus Cosmo notes quot51 percent say they39re now more likely to use a condomquotSex and SexualityPrePandemic Gender norms and heteronormative reinforcement made people prioritize what others expected of them over what they themselves truly wantedDuring the Pandemic The lockdown meant far more time for play whether with a partner or alone It also meant more thought to whether a person was ready to actually pursue the sexual partners or pleasures they39d fantasized about It turns out they aren39tPostPandemic Esquire highlights that the Kinsey study points out that quot19 percent of our respondents plan to pursue an open relationship in the future and 46 percent say they39re engaging in more sexual experimentation from erotica to mutual masturbation to toys and morequotSo amp8230 What Does This All MeanquotLove and sex are hugely important to most people they39re major contributors to wellbeing and they have an impact on our larger society through everything from hookup culture to the decline of the nuclear familyquot said GesselmanWhen discussing the threeway partnership of two powerhouse media brands and the top research institute in this arena it was nothing but praise all aroundquotOur collaboration was so much fun we all came to the table with different perspectives and different audiences and were always excitedly piggybacking off each other39s ideas I think our very detailed data speaks to that enthusiastic atmosphere that we created around this projectquot Gesselman saidPels elaborated quotOn one hand couples who quarantine together are stronger than they were before They39re happier they39re more satisfied with their sex lives and they feel more affectionate towards each other On the other hand singles who were quarantined alone or quarantined without a partner are much more intent on finding a committed meaningful emotionally fulfilling relationship after COVID as opposed to going out there and just having a freeforallquotSebastian agreed then added quotAs we move away from our previously accepted prescriptive lives I realize that we as men can reflect a more progressive diverse definition of manhoodquotHow Will This Study Impact MediaBoth editorsinchief agreed that this project completed remotely and during a time of great uncertainly in both the worlds of relationships and media yielded results beyond the scope of the data itself It showed them both that their audiences are hungry for content that is more inclusive and less heteronormativePels notes that now more than ever Cosmo39s goal is quotdestigmatizing regressive taboos These are things that really matter to usquotIn ClosingAs we move into a postCOVID world we are all assessing the types of relationships we have and what we want to see mirrored in our media and in our advertisementsAs Pels puts it quotWe just lived through hell those of us who were lucky enough to live through it and when you get to the to the brink like that it makes you rethink your priorities There39s this feeling that this is a second chance at life I can do it differently and I can do it better And the great news is that what 39better39 means is 39more authentically for me39quotIt seems likely that the desire for more authenticity as discovered by Cosmo and Esquire in this quotFuture of Sexquot study has certainly given us all a lot to think about in terms of how we live amp8230 and a lot to look forward toPhotos courtesy of Hearst MagazinesClick the social buttons to share this story with colleagues and friendsThe opinions expressed here are the author39s views and do not necessarily represent the views of MediaVillagecomMyersBizNet

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Post-Pandemic Life? It's Not About Gettin' Some -- It's About Finding Someone

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Kryss Shane

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