Six Keys to Successful Interactions

Whether in the physical or virtual world we spend a significant amount of time interacting with others.

To a great degree the success of an individual at both a personal or business level, as well as those of leaders, teams and company cultures, are highly co-related with the quality of these interactions.

There are six keys to maximize the impact of any interaction whether with individuals or groups.

Three of them are what we bring to the interaction (generosity, empathy and attention) and three of them (clarity, belief and energy) are what we want to leave or take from the interaction.

Why Interaction Versus Meeting.

The use of the word interaction versus meeting is purposeful for three reasons:

1. Active versus Passive. One attends meetings while one participates in an interaction.

2. Return to Office mandates are likely to flounder if people return to attend meetings and find themselves sitting around with headphones in common areas hoping that some enlightenment via osmosis occurs by watching others or some magical serendipity transpires because one runs into someone around the mythical water cooler! Hours of travel, a reduction in flexibility and increased expenses to hopefully glimpse these highly advertised experiences will not be a great trade-off. The focus should be on in-person interaction versus office and meetings if RTO is going to work and the true learning, relationship and cultural benefits which are very real and important can be experienced.

3. By focusing on interaction one reduces waste by limiting the number of attendees to only those who benefit from or participate in the interaction and constraining the content to what needs real time synchronous interaction versus something that can be read or dealt with at any time or any place.

What One Should Bring to an Interaction.

There are a lot of books and articles on meeting management and how to get the most out of gatherings.

Most of them are utter and complete BS because they all focus on how you can get the most out of an interaction, while the focus should be how can you give the most in an interaction.

If you go to a meeting with an “extraction” mindset versus a “giving” mindset you will likely face several problems including a) missing meetings where you may have been able to share your knowledge and therefore build goodwill b) become so focused on what you are looking for that you do not discover what you need.

So, you end up with less and less knowledge, find yourself shocked and surprised at things that come from left field and suffer a diminished reputation as a taker versus a giver.

To maximize learning, reputation and enhance interaction experience focus on generosity, empathy and attention as the keys to bring to every interaction.

Generosity.

How can one leave the person or the people whom one is meeting with or presenting to with a gift?

A gift of knowledge or insight or a way to see things that they did not have before. Something that makes them believe that it was a good use of their time.

Besides knowledge some other ways to be generous include appreciation of their skills and their contributions. Everyone wants to be acknowledged and recognized for their good work.

Another way to be generous, is to provide guidance. People are hungry for advice, direction and stories to navigate whatever challenge or situation they face. Providing perspectives, stories and experiences resonate and scale in empowering and growing people.

Knowledge. Appreciation. Guidance. These are three ways to bring generosity to an experience.

Empathy.

How can one truly understand the other persons perspective and point of view because in doing so one will grow even if we might disagree with their perspective or view.

If you are presenting, how can you make sure that your talk is relevant to those in the room and the issues they have in mind and not some boiler plate boiled anew. Is it not ironic when speakers talk of relevance and customization and customer or content is king but do not customize or make relevant their content to their audience? Basically, they are saying that their time is more valuable than those attending.

Three ways to ensure empathy is to seek to understand by asking, listening, and re-stating the problem and situation. By reframing the problem using analogies and other categories and finally by sharing relevant personal experiences.

Understanding signals, you are listening. Re-framing telegraphs that the problem or challenge being faced has been shared by others. Personal experiences ensure a human connection and re-enforces that you have been in this person’s shoes or seen others who have been.

Attention.

When we have a great interaction, we feel that the person talking to us is paying attention to us.

They do not appear distracted looking away at some screen or signal they are participating grudgingly in the interaction. They are there in body and spirit.

People watch for tone of voice, facial expressions, and small gestures rather than one’s physical presence to see if one is paying attention.

Bringing oneself, one’s generosity and ones empathy are key inputs for a great interaction.

But an interaction is as much about what you and others take-away. Outcomes are key and the it is important to leave people with clarity, belief, and energy.

Clarity.

In a great interaction or meeting people come out with a clearer understanding of a situation, with greater precision of knowledge, and clear-cut next steps than before the meeting or interaction.

Doubts are cleared. Any mixed signals clarified. Hedges eliminated.

Everybody is clear as to what they need to do next and who is doing what.

One leaves the interaction better informed and equipped to tackle whatever the challenge or problem might be.

Now think of the meetings one has when people come out more confused, more unsure of what to do. We have all attended these group gropes or even individual one on one meetings which were thick with dense mumbo-jumbo, buzz-word bingo, oozy obfuscationandmixed signals that left us more mystified and doubtful than before we had the interaction.

One way of ensuring clarity is to speak simply using plain language and have people play back what the next steps are.

Belief.

It is one thing to be clear as to what must be done next but as important is to leave an interaction with a greater belief in you or your team’s ability to do what is necessary.

Many managers collapse the mood of a room by berating an individual or team’s performance without some offsetting knowledge or guidance on how they can do things better or improve themselves.

A great interaction occurs when one leaves a meeting feeling more confident about one’s capabilities in tackling what must be done. Even if one had received feedback in a meeting about not having done a good job it is key to leave with guidance and a sense of motivation that one can fix the situation and finding a remedy.

A dirge like procession of individuals with hang-dog faces, droopy shouldersandshuffling feet is not just a downer but a negative vibe that echoes through everybody who interacts with the individuals whose self-belief was drained out of them.

A key is to leave someone feeling better about themselves after you meet them rather than worse even if you provide them with less than positive information by showing how you or another individual tackled the same problem, reminding them of the times they recovered when they were knocked back by a challenge or sharing your individual stories of tackling similar situations.

Energy.

We are living in a time of great change, accelerating velocity of business and multiple pressures.

This is leaving people often drained, burnt out and wanting to just curl up under a blanket from the noise and tension.

Great interactions leave people rejuvenated, replenished, and refreshed.

While clarity is about the mind, belief about the heart, energy is about the body.

Bringing energy to a meeting can boost others. Energy is contagious. Other ways to leave people more energized can involve leveraging humor, providing the opportunity to take a break, or bringing empathy and understanding on the forces that drain energy with some ideas of fixing them that can leave people with a boost.

Regardless of whether one interacts in person or remotely, individually or in groups, how senior or junior one is the likelihood of having a great meeting or interaction is likely to improve if one focusses on leaving everybody you interact with clarity, belief,andenergy.

Posted at MediaVillage through the Thought Leadership self-publishing platform.

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The opinions expressed here are the author's views and do not necessarily represent the views of MediaVillage.org/MyersBizNet.